a little piece of mind

i think it is safe to say that as i get older, the crippling doubt i felt when i was younger is no longer there. not to say that i am a brave and fearless person now, because there are still a lot of things that i cannot seem to bring myself to do, but overall, i would have to say that i am pretty comfortable in my own skin these days. although in some ways, this is just as frightening as not knowing what to do. at least when you are younger, you are willing to take the risks that could potentially change your life.

this year has been tougher than most. i really do not want to go into too much detail, but maybe someday i will. while living in solitude has been quite nice, i sometimes worry that i will forget how to connect to other people in a social situation. i feel like getting to this point, i have burned more bridges than i ever wanted to, and even though i hope to make it up at some point in the future when things are better, it will be too late. however, what is done is done, and i will have to live with the decisions that i have made.

instead, i think i will try to keep the self reflectiveness to a minimum and just write. today will be the exception.